Sunday, November 24, 2002
i keep telling you that it wasn't your fault. i'd rather be paired up with you than anyone else. they might hurt me more, and mean it as well.
my eyes hurt. i woke up at 621 am and ran from the house thinking i was going to be late, and then i arrive and hello, no sci lab. bloody. wish i'd gotten more sleep. anyway, dad moved the tv to my room yesterday. yay. i finally get to watch charmed.
i feel obscurely scared of science today. it's because we've got this exam that makes or breaks the grade. if i fail this, i fail inersci. and i'm scared. not of the failing, but of the consequence of failing. my parents think i've been studying my heart out. i haven't. and not when they're being so nice to me, too.
i think i'm finally making some sense out of evangelion. like the way shinji pilots because people are nice to him when he does? i hated that about him and yet i find the same thing, obscurely, inside me.
i wanted to be asuka, not shinji.
i don't want to be a weakling.
i don't want to depend on others anymore.
i just want to be me.
but who am i?
will you catch me when I fall? :: |
named Ekai Ungson
listen to the static
"Wonder" - Megan McCauley
"Everyone is Wrong" - The Donnas
"You and Me" - Lifehouse
"Blind" - Lifehouse
"Lonely No More" - Rob Thomas
"Akap" - Imago
"The Difference" - Matchbox Twenty
"Extraordinary" - Liz Phair