Wednesday, April 30, 2003
This had to be coming some time
What I hate most about you?
That I can't hate you, no matter how I try. No matter how I give myself reason to hate you. No matter how much you hurt me, have hurt me. Sure, you came traipsing into my life, acting like you owned the place, and sure, maybe I let you--
but if you knew you were going to walk out? I think you should have said something in the first place.
That night I said to myself, I'd never fall in love. Never again would I submit myself to hoping and wishing and praying. I sat behind the piano and stared at you, and said to myself: "Ne, it's easier to stare, right? Just stare at him, because he's beautiful, because he's beautiful... but I won't fall in love. Too much pain in investing in something that might not be real."
That night, I thought I was dreaming. Someone like you couldn't have been happening to someone like me. And I asked you, and you said, "It's real, you know it is."
I hear the songs you sing for me, hear them in my head. They never seem to stop, your music, even if I try to drown it in my own. And your bracelet's ghost still lingers on my wrist, the chains and the stars still jangle when I move, but when I look to check, it's not there.
You're a part of me, now. And I keep resisting that. I keep telling myself that I am here because this is where I want to be, but in fact, in part, I am here because this is where you want me to be.
You're a part of me.
And I hate most the fact that I don't hate you.
I don't hate you at all.
will you catch me when I fall? :: |
named Ekai Ungson
listen to the static
"Wonder" - Megan McCauley
"Everyone is Wrong" - The Donnas
"You and Me" - Lifehouse
"Blind" - Lifehouse
"Lonely No More" - Rob Thomas
"Akap" - Imago
"The Difference" - Matchbox Twenty
"Extraordinary" - Liz Phair