Thursday, November 13, 2003


Somebody Save Me

I saw the third (?) season premiere of Smallville last Tuesday and rekindled my burning hate for Lana Lang. Ughhhhh. Can anybody say Mary Sue? Disgusting.

Am undergoing very serious moodswings bordering on the suicidal. Not THAT suicidal, I mean like killing the living daylights out of my relationship with Reni. No reason. I just feel like a rant and anybody's a target. I don't know what fuels this desire to go kamikaze in my life and simply go berserk without much explanation, but I feel like shit about it, too, so I guess I'm still human.

Instead of the heartless bitch I'm making myself out to be.

CutieSis went on the same thing just last week... and I don't know if it's our shared genetics or the rainy weather or maybe my wonked out hormones doing the necessary evil. I don't know what's come over me, but when I saw him at school today, I felt like tearing out his pretty face and shoving it where the sun don't shine. And he hadn't done anything yet, either...

.......

Oh, come ON. NOoOoOoOOOW I feel like absolute shit. Ren just walked in here and gave me this letter and he wants to know what's going on because, he says, he's losing his mind.

COME ON, NOW, REALLY....

I feel like burying my head in the sand and I haven't even finished my fucking rant! Dammit.

Sometimes I wish I was more like Urd. Somehow I feel like incessant swearing lets out all the negative energy. That's why my sister's such a happy person.

I wish I didn't keep all these things from him.

He doesn't deserve this.


If I Am by Nine Days

So you're standing on a ledge
It looks like you might fall
So far down
Or maybe you were thinking about jumping

Now you could have it all
If you learned a little patience
For though I cannot fly
I'm not content to crawl

So give me a little credit
Have in me a little faith
I want to be with you forever
If tomorrow's not too late
But it's always too late when you've got nothing
So you say
But you should never let the sun set on tomorrow
Before the sun rises today

If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down

So you're walking on the edge
And you wait your turn to fall
But you're so far gone
That you don't see
The hands upheld to catch you

And you could find the fault
In the heart that you've been handed
For though you cannot fly
You're not content to crawl

So you're standing on a ledge
It looks like you might fall

If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down

The answers we find
Are never what we had in mind
So we make it up as we go along
You don't talk of dreams
I won't mention tomorrow
We won't make those promises
That we can't keep

I will never leave you
I will not let you down
I will never leave you
I will not let you down





6:53 PM
will you catch me when I fall? :: |




this girl
named Ekai Ungson
find here
or here
or here
or here


listen to the static
"Wonder" - Megan McCauley
"Everyone is Wrong" - The Donnas
"You and Me" - Lifehouse
"Blind" - Lifehouse
"Lonely No More" - Rob Thomas
"Akap" - Imago
"The Difference" - Matchbox Twenty
"Extraordinary" - Liz Phair


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